Top 5 Baddest Bullies

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We all know one, that kid who hit the express lane on puberty and grew up a little bit quicker than everyone else. Then, he decided to use his powers for evil and turn on the helpless.

Whether to steal lunch money, make themselves look better by bringing others down, or just personal insecurities, these bullies have negatively

touched the lives of Star Wars lovers all around us.

With a brief further ado…

The Top 5 bullies of all time.

Johnny Lawrence aka The Real Karate Kid: When I was watching How I Met Your Mother, Barney brought up a great defense for The Karate Kid actually being about Billy Zabka’s character from the Cobra Kai Dojo. When you think about it, he’s really more qualified to be the one the movie is named for, as opposed to some kid who never trained and just fought for a chick he probably broke up with once he got some notoriety at school. But they turn the tables and use their cinematic mojo to make you feel sorry for Macchio, which is fried bologna. Lawrence is the essence of threatened blonde haired tooldome. I like to imagine him as a Justin Bieber who can do pushups and hates people scammin on his girl. Rep yo city Jon, and rep it strong.

Ryan from Never Back Down: As far as megatools go, this guy’s a Home Depot. He starts off the movie being real cool, but turns out he just wants to kill the hype about the new kid, and he does, courtesy of a roundhouse to the face. This modern day version of The Karate Kid wouldn’t have been complete if both the hero and villain weren’t both pretty likable. The movie was essentially a lifetime subscription to Daddy Issues Weekly, but what made it crazy is even though Ryan was still jerkier than that wooden rollercoaster at Magic Springs, he was still so cool you kinda wanted him to come to your birthday party at Hardee’s. Just please don’t hit on my mom.

Sack from Wedding Crashers: Before Bradley Cooper played the arrogant friend in The Hangover, but after he played an arrogant TA on the extremely underrated Jack & Bobby, he was the arrogant bottle of testosterone Zachary Lodge in Wedding Crashers. His ascension into big meanieville can be solidified by one fact: You do not cheat on Rachel McAdams. Taste that? It tastes a lot like regret. I know, it’s a bit salty. Boom goes the dynamite.

Craig M. from The Bachelorette: I know this is actually a real person, but his personification of fartknockery could not go unmentioned. From the moment I saw him on the show, I wanted to see him get cracked in his pretty little Derek Shepherd face. Whether it’s my own personal jealously about the elegance of his hair, or that fact that he was a raging ball of ego, I just wanted him to get clocked. He almost did by the baddest looking dude on the show, the weatherman (or the dude with the cool tattoos). Maybe we should cut him some slack though. He was just there to make people laugh so he could be famous, and now here we are. Touche Craiggy, Touche.

Little Bunny Foo Foo: Stay with me. This little nursery rhyme punk would wander around the forest, scooping up those field mice and bopping them on their head. The name throws you off a bit, because as far as names go his parents hand delivered him a life of ridicule. No wonder he turned to senseless head bopping like Andre the Giant in The Princess Bride. The thing that makes LBFF one of the most dangerous and dominating of all bullies, is that he had no reason to hit these field mice. He did it for mere pleasure, and whats more, he was told to stop more than once by a magical fairy. Now, fairies get a bad rap these days but you know if you were out pushing a kid with glasses around and some magical being came out of the sky to scold/threaten you, that kid would from then on be the Cameron to your Ferris Bueller. Foo Foo was a punk, but he was legit.

UPDATE: Turns out I think Craig M. is actually pretty cool. Everybody gets to be wrong once, like O.J. (orange juice).

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Did I leave anyone off?