Mr. Tarver’s Phenomenal 9

(In honor of school starting back today for us high schooligans (school + hooligans) and educatinators (educator + terminator), here is a list of my 9 rules I establish at the beginning of each school year. This has the distinct potential to be the most boring post of all time. Which within itself, is quite an accomplishment. I apologize in advance and please throw out your gum.)

Class Motto: Show respect to the teacher, classmates, and classroom, but remain fly at all times.

1. Be prepared for the class.

Bring your pencil, paper, and required work to class EVERYDAY. If you do not have a pencil or paper, you may ask your neighbor quietly. Do not put on a big show or production. We don’t care that you are too cool not to bring your stuff to class. Save that business for reality shows. Keep up with ALL worksheets and notes. If you can’t, then talk to Mr. Tarver after class and he will provide a folder for you. You may leave your folder or notebook in this classroom, but beware of thugs.

2. Don’t be a little whiny baby.

If we are going to take notes or work on an assignment, do not give a big sigh of irritation or complain. Definitely do not ask, Do we have to or Why? The answer to those questions is because the law requires it. If you don’t like it, move to Mexico. If you complain or whine then you will have to rewrite this entire handout. Booya.

3. Do not make fun of anyone, put down anyone, hit/kick anyone, or use foul language.

Be nice to each other. If you can’t say something nice, then don’t say anything at all, unless I ask you a question, then respond nicely. If I hear something I feel is derogatory or see you touch/strike another person, you will write a full-page apology to that person.  If you use foul language, then that merely shows your lack of creativity and lack of manners. If I hear an inappropriate word, you will get a discipline slip. Savvy?

4. If you are given an assignment, work on that assignment.

Stay focused on what we are working on. Most of the time I will give you time to work on junk in class, so work on it. That way, you make a good grade and you also have someone here to help you. Do you love homework? Do you want to marry it? No, because it’s mean like a rabbit. Finish it in class and handle your business.

5. Do not sit on or move the desks.

Hey guess what? Desks cost money. The seat was made to be sat in. If you are caught sitting/leaning on a desk, you will fill out a discipline slip. Also, please don’t move the desks. They are where they are because they look so pretty there. Just like in a hospital, don’t move the patients. Pretty please.

6. Absolutely no wearing hoods.

In the handbook it specifies about wearing hats, you can’t wear them. But Mr. Tarver can’t stand people wearing hoods. I think it’s mega creepy and I don’t like dark alleyways either. So, if you have your hood on in class, boom, you’ve got a discipline slip.

7. Show up to class on time.

“But it’s so far”, “I have to go to my locker”, “Blah blah blah blah”. You have seven minutes to walk to your next class. The higher ups at this school have walked from the furthest classrooms in less than seven minutes. So you can walk here. Say goodbye to Timmy or Sally Sue and get to class. It’s not like it’s true love anyways. It might be, but you should still go to class cause chicks dig smart guys. Or maybe that’s rich? Either way, be in your desk when the bell starts ringing.

8. If you are absent, HANDLE YOUR BUSINESS.

Show up to school. Check the side board for what we did the day before, check with someone to see what you missed. I’m not your mommy, be responsible. Goodness gracious, you only have to come here for a few more years. My policy:

• If you turn it in the next day = Full Credit.
• Before that chapter’s test = 50% of what you get correct.
• After that= 1 point.

If you hate school that much, graduate then do whatever you want. If it is a medical reason, get an excused form. Otherwise, skipping is not cool. Show up.

9. Discipline Process:

1^st Warning- Initials on the board

2^nd Discipline Sheet- Fill one out completely

3^rd Afternoon Detention- Self-Explanatory

4^th La Principal’s Office

5^th The Gates of Mordor

__________________________________________________________

Tardiness, Bathroom Visits, Etc.       Name:

For Mr. Tarver’s class, you have 5 excused tardies/bathroom visits. Use this wisely because there will come a day, after you drink 3 bottles of Propel and really have to go visit Mr. Restroom, and you will be out of places to sign. Then your tardy card will be signed, and of course you won’t have it, and you will go to the office, tears ensue and cell phones disappear. Make sure this visit is worth it.

1. ______    2. ______   3.______   4.______   5.______

____________________________________

What are some rules you’d have in your classroom?