If you grew up in the 90’s you know the greatness and non-cheesyness that is Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. If you were any time after that, then you know it’s the corniest thing since Pilgrim poo. But, with the gritty and realistic revamping of Batman, Spiderman, Superman, and The Notebook, I feel it’s time we helped get this franchise back on the right track.
Here’s who I think/know-in-my-heart should be cast in the new Power Rangers reboot. Written and Directed by Christopher Nolan.
The Red Ranger: Channing Tatum: This dude is no stranger to having a leading position and/or getting mad at people. That’s pretty much what the ol’ Red Ranger does if I remember correctly. He leads everything until the epic coolness of the Green/White Ranger overtakes him and he’s forced to ride shotgun. Get Channing on board, the ladies will follow, I’m assuming this from the high level of difficulty involved in finding a photo of him not showing his greater than or equal to 27 abs.
The Blue Ranger: Zac Efron: Old Blue’s main job is to be Red’s best friend and never become Pink Ranger’s love interest over Green and Red. What better dark haired actor to play him than the always elegant and permissible Zacky Efron. He’s breaking free, he’s soaring, and he’s my choice, always and forever.
The Black Ranger: Donald Glover: In one of the most racist childhood television show moves besides the entire series of Saved by the Bell, The Rangers decided to cleverly cast the role of the black ranger with dum da da dum, a black guy. Well, I couldn’t stray too far from the original in order to cast one of the flyest dudes on the planet, Donald Glover. Not only can he bring in the comedic effect, the Internet already made a push for him to be Spiderman so I know they’d be on board like the top-hat in Monopoly. Dude has mad skills, just watch Mystery Team, you’ll cry because you can’t be that awesome, that’s what I did, and now I’m casting a movie, so look at me now mom, look at me now (just insert commas anywhere you please). Side note: The Black Ranger was always my choice when any impromptu elementary school PR battle arose, and I’d win like someone inquiring about the time of an event.
The Yellow Ranger: Aubrey Plaza: Staying true to their racist casting, they went with an Asian chick for the role of the Yellow Muskateer. I’m like a colorblind dog when it comes to seeing different races, so I would assume Aubrey Plaza is at least 1/17 Asian cause she has bangs. I know, I should be on CSI. I auditioned but turns out that was for a Clay Aiken biopic, I got 3rd. Plaza is legit, plus I’d love to see her and Glover make jokes about all the other Rangers being full of themselves and not being able to dance.
The Pink Ranger: Emma Watson: I don’t know if she’s the best fit or not but I don’t care, my name is on the banner of this site and I wanna see her in more stuff, dye her hair and have her dumb herself down, whatever you have to do to make this happen. You know her from Harry Potter and The Girl of Your Dreams, but soon to be the gritty reboot of the greatest never ending but always slightly changed show of all time.
The Green/White Ranger: Taylor Kitsch: This guy has to be bad, good, suave, long-haired, and just plain cool. This was probably the easiest pick. If you’ve ever seen Friday Night Lights, you know Gambit’s got the skills to pay the bills (Bill Cosby and Bill Hader). He starts Green Bad, then goes Green Good, then goes Cool White. The White Ranger has to be the single coolest character ever created. He’s just got it (yeah baby he’s got it, I’m yo Venus, I’m yo fire).
The Robot thing they all Turn Into: Optimus Prime: Does anyone else see the similarities? Just me? Close Second: Damon Waynes doing the robot in Major Payne.
Who else should’ve been considered for some roles?
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