24 and a Half Reasons to Get my Book: Words and Sentences

This was originally written for Rob over at the RobshEp.com, and now it’s for you…Jeb, my favorite reader I just made up. 

When Rob first mentioned I should write about what the title says, I was so happy cause I love things that are just below 25. I’m also a fan of oscillating. GET IT? Sorry for yelling, someone was holding a knife but then I noticed they were just eating a steak.

  1. It has never cussed you out more than once.
  2. It let you cheat off of it in Geometry.
  3. It mentions the word Chapstick less than 12 times but more than 30 times.
  4. The title was once uttered by Lisa Turtle on episode 307 of Saved by the Bell.
  5. My wife won’t.
  6. It’s like Neosporin for your hair.
  7. 6 out of 5 Doctors recommend it with Trident.
  8. It talks about the connections between Harry Potter and Jesus.
  9. It talks about your mom.
  10. It’s complimentary like peanuts on an airplane flight.
  11. It’s less scary than Princess Diaries 2.
  12. One page has a swipe of Axe Phoenix deodorant for your viewing pleasure.
  13. Because I’m in love with you.
  14. If it were a person, it would be wearing a modestly cut V-neck.
  15. It’s not racist except for against Muggles.
  16. It doubles as a Flash Drive with no more space to put files.
  17. It has over 299 pages, so after you read 270 pages, there are still more.
  18. You can purchase refillable ink for it at your local Target.
  19. It put Movie Gallery out of business.
  20. I need the money so I can eat this week.
  21. You can hollow it out to hide your rock pic so you can break out of Shawshank Prison.
  22. It costs less than 3 Starbucks Venti  Frappuccinos and lasts half the time.
  23. Because I think very highly of Rob like Snoop Dogg.
  24. Everyone else is doing it, or not doing it.
  25. 2( 7 – 4 ) – 7 + 1.5

Thanks Rob, you are nicer to me than anyone in the whole word like an astronaut.

Reminder, you can get a digital copy FO FREE by signing up for my VIP mailing list (I email you about once a month). This offer will not last forever and ever but maybe a while.