Store

Click Here to Buy the Book on CreateSpace (preferred).

Click Here to Buy the Book on Amazon (Click Here to give it a Review).

Click Here to Buy the Book in PDF Format (Perfect for iPads/iPhones/other crap)

Click Here to Buy the Book for the Kindle. (Give it a Review too if ya like)

 

Well there’s only one thing for sale right now, but you know, boats only got one sale, and they can swim. It’s sail, idiot.

The book is called Words & Sentences, it’s 300 pages, it’s a bunch of short stories/reviews/analyses/quizzes/ridiculousness, for the whole family or just you, yeah, you.

Short Summary? Okay. It’s primarily a compilation of individual writings between half a page or more. Also, if you buy a book my kid gets to eat this week. Do it for the children, and the adults, and not the robots or birds.

Also, if you buy the book, I highly recommend you take a picture of yourself reading it and/or placing it somewhere interesting and it’ll end up on the VIP page. Go there, take a gander, leave a gander, what’s a gander?

(courtesy of @ateacupoffun)

What do I do with my life and wife and things that end with -ife?

  1. Buy the book.
  2. Buy a copy for your BFF (and your enemy if you’re into that ‘love your enemy’ business).
  3. Write a stunning review on Amazon.
  4. Promote it on your site so I can get rich and buy diamonds and/or send my kids to college.

What are the experts saying about Words & Sentences?

“It’s nothing like The Great Gatsby” -David Trobbins, Mammal

“A book for the ages (7-12)” -Eminem’s friend’s roommate’s cousin

“What? No, you can’t quote me, never read it. Who?” -Amanda Tarver, Tyler’s Wife

“The foreword was the best part.” -Tyler Stanton, co-creator of tylerstanton.com

“Is it supposed to be funny?” -Tyler’s Dad, co-creator of Tyler Tarver

“…a perplexing labyrinth without a simple through-line, and is sure to inspire truly endless analysis…It is wholly original, cut from a new cloth…” -Roger Ebert on Inception

“Roads? Where we’re going we don’t need roads.” -Doc Brown in Back to the Future

“Meh, at least the pictures are good.” -Tyler Tarver, Pulitzer Prize winning author of (title unknown)

Special thanks to:

Olivia for her amazing drawings and cover art. She’s more talented than I’ll ever be.

Tyler S. for writing the most the most scandalous and shocking foreword ever since Tim Duncan.

Knox for reviewing it or just lying well enough to make me think he did.

Arshia for the taking the back cover picture of my stupid face.